Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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