she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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