Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
