Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize