Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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