my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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