would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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