That's when you crack a 10am beer
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
