He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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