She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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