If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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