hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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