lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
