Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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