Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
