Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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