Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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