walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
