no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Let's get the cat blown out
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