Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Yo dont text me then not text me
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
