My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
