Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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