you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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