i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
