i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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