Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
why do cheetos always look like penises
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after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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