You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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