Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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