so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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