the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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