I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
