ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
