And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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