I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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