How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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