Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I have feelings that need drinking.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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