the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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