Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
