First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
no, he came in my armpit
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
NoShamevember. You game?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
