but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
