we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
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My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
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Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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