He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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