So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
