You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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