Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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