i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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