found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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