i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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