You work out of a Hotel?
It's Friday. Sex?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
