how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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