3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Every concussion has its silver lining
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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