Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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