It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
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I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
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This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
only i would get off to receiving death threats online