HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear