I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.