Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered