1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
