dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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