You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
