i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I skipped work to stalk him.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Randomize
