What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
my being single is dangerous.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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