i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize