tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i wish my penis had a tongue
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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