I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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